{"id":5011,"date":"2026-07-13T07:47:00","date_gmt":"2026-07-13T05:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bymconsulting.se\/?p=5011"},"modified":"2026-06-03T13:00:34","modified_gmt":"2026-06-03T11:00:34","slug":"den-svaraste-feedbacken-var-inte-elak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bymconsulting.se\/en\/den-svaraste-feedbacken-var-inte-elak\/","title":{"rendered":"The hardest feedback I received in my career was not unkind."},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

It came from a manager I respected. Early in my career, at a point when I thought I had a fairly good grasp of things.\nIt was not a long speech. It was a simple observation, delivered directly and without softening.\nAnd it changed how I worked.

What was said<\/strong>
I will not repeat it word for word. It is personal and it is mine.

But the core of it was this: I was skilled at solving problems \u2014 but sometimes I solved them for people instead of helping them solve them themselves.

That sounds simple. It was not.<\/strong>
It took me a long time to understand what it really meant. The difference between being helpful and creating dependency is not always obvious. That the quickest route is not always the best one.

Why are we afraid of honest feedback<\/strong>
It is not about unkindness. It is about discomfort.
Giving honest feedback requires a willingness to create temporary discomfort in a relationship. It requires believing the relationship can handle it. And it requires caring enough about the person to say what needs to be said.

Most of us choose not to do it. We soften, we round off, we wait for a better moment. And the better moment never comes.
The result is organizations full of half-given and half-received messages. Where everyone knows what needs to be said \u2014 but nobody says it.

What honest feedback requires \u2014 from both sides<\/strong>
It requires a giver who is clear, specific and respectful. Nobody needs to hear 'you are bad at X'. But everyone can hear 'I have noticed that X happens \u2014 have you thought about that?'
It requires a recipient who does not become defensive. And that is harder. Defensiveness is human. But defensiveness closes the door to change.
And it requires a relationship with enough trust for it to be raised at all.
Det sistn\u00e4mnda \u00e4r chefens ansvar. Det \u00e4r d\u00e4rf\u00f6r som leadership<\/a> och feedback h\u00e4nger ihop.

What I take from it<\/strong>
That honest feedback is one of the finest things you can give a colleague, an employee or a manager.\nIt requires courage. It is sometimes received badly in the moment. That it is worth it anyway.

And that the feedback I received all those years ago \u2014 it made me better. That is the best a piece of feedback can do.


If you have thoughts, questions, or simply want to talk something through \u2014 feel free to get in touch. I am happy to have an initial conversation with no agenda.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Magdalena Hagstr\u00f6m St\u00e5hl
By M Consulting AB

Right person. Right place. Everything changes.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It came from a manager I respected. It wasn't harsh \u2013 it was honest. And it changed how I worked. Why we're too afraid of honest feedback.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5011","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reflektion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bymconsulting.se\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5011","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bymconsulting.se\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bymconsulting.se\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bymconsulting.se\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bymconsulting.se\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5011"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/bymconsulting.se\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5011\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5028,"href":"https:\/\/bymconsulting.se\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5011\/revisions\/5028"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bymconsulting.se\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5011"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bymconsulting.se\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5011"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bymconsulting.se\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5011"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}