Day two of my ICC certification was about something I'd sensed for 25 years without being able to put into words: a good conversation isn't an accident. It's designed.
The frame comes before the substance
We practiced setting the frame for a collaboration before even getting to the substance – who's responsible for what, what you're actually committing to, how you hold each other accountable. It sounded formal the first time I heard it. After 25 years in recruitment and leadership advisory, I know exactly why it isn't. Most collaborations I've seen go wrong, regardless of industry, trace back to unclear expectations at the start – not to a lack of competence further down the line.
Goal or wish?
We also practiced telling a real goal apart from a wish in disguise. How many "goals" have I heard over the years that were really just a vague hope phrased as a command? More than I'd like to admit.
The connection to leadership teams
For someone who already works with leadership teams and leaders, the connection feels obvious: the same structure that makes a coaching conversation hold up works just as well for difficult development conversations within a leadership team. The frames aren't set to be bureaucratic. They're set to make it safe enough to tell the truth. What surprised me most is how much of this I'd already been doing intuitively, without having words for it. Now I have the words – and a model I can rely on even when gut feeling isn't enough.
If you have thoughts, questions, or just want to talk something through – feel free to reach out. I'm always happy to have an initial conversation with no agenda.
Right person. Right place. Everything changes.