Most of us have experienced both. Goals that feel like an administrative exercise – and goals that actually create direction and energy. The difference is rarely the method. It's the conversation behind them.
Autonomy isn't a bonus – it's a prerequisite
Deci and Ryan's research in self-determination theory shows that people perform better and feel better when they experience autonomy, competence, and belonging. That applies to goal setting too. A goal someone else has set for you rarely activates the same engagement as one you've formulated yourself.
That doesn't mean all goals should come from the bottom up. But it does mean the dialogue matters.
Challenge and clarity go hand in hand
Locke and Latham's 1990 research shows that specific, challenging goals consistently lead to higher performance than vague or easy ones – provided the person sees them as reasonable and meaningful.
A goal needs to be high enough to demand something – and grounded enough to feel worth the effort.
Three questions to bring into your next goal conversation
What needs to be true for this goal to feel energizing – rather than a burden?
What's the connection between this goal and something you personally want to develop or achieve?
What do you need from me to make this possible?
Those questions take a few minutes. But they shift the conversation from accountability to ownership – and that's where motivation actually begins.
If you have thoughts, questions, or simply want to talk something through — feel free to get in touch. I am happy to have an initial conversation with no agenda.

Right person. Right place. Everything changes.
Sources:
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11392867/
Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (1990). A theory of goal setting and task performance. Prentice-Hall. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232501090_A_Theory_of_Goal_Setting_Task_Performance